With folded hands, I pray and request humbly for you to give your guidance in curtailing the shadow pandemic of Domestic Violence. A disease that COVID has precipitated more than ever before.
I am a domestic violence survivor. Even as an engineering graduate, I was not allowed to work outside the confines of the house. Irrespective, I took pride in looking after my children and looked after my family as best as I could. As a wife, daughter-in-law, and mother, I feel I have done well. Our two intelligent citizens of the country stand testimony to this. Unfortunately, though, at this stage in my life, I am left wanting to know my worth as a homemaker. Tortured and abandoned by the same family, domestic violence has become the reality of my life.
My name is Archana Mittal (maiden Sharma) aged 59 years (Turning 60 this year). As a Chemical Engineer, I have an MBA in Development Management. I have been a national scholarship holder and a District Topper who is now seeking her worth as a homemaker.
We have come a long way since the Violence Against Women Act was passed in 1994. It is important to recognize that domestic violence impacts millions of people, and it’s not only women who are victims; men suffer domestic violence as well.
Seeking legal recourse after domestic abuse, My experience with the police and courts exposed me to torture on another level. From exorbitant lawyer fees to delays in police complaint registration and subsequent delayed court dates. I continue to experience a multiplicity of litigation as filed by my estranged husband to break me with his might in the corporate world and the monetary success that I had silently helped him accrue as his homemaker wife. It’s been over six years that I am waiting for a date in the court that gets me my due as a 59-year-old homemaker. Despite all the evidence, I am suffering on all accounts. At this age I do not want a divorce, all I want is to lead a dignified life as supported by my constitution, and protected by the laws of our country.
Here are a few suggestions to affect a policy change such that the laws are actually impactful to those who suffer and not just become a tool for manipulation for a few.
These are arrived at after diligent research through journals, as well as speaking with survivors and other stakeholders.
· Do you know there is NO data available on domestic abuse offenders? Incorporating or creating a national register for domestic abuse offenders is of prime importance
· Addressing domestic abuse as an issue with the public health system
· Give a mandate to public distribution systems (milk booths, ration shops), places of worship, medical shops, and Kirana stores to have trigger buttons where women can register their domestic abuse call to authorities. All these centres/places have helpline numbers of NGOs working on Domestic violence. Sensitization to be done for these places
· Making help more accessible to victims in a seamless manner
· Creating a special task force by integrating offices from the Ministry of Health and Family welfare
· Training domestic abuse health counsellors (special counsellors)
· Special tribunals in courts for fast-tracking domestic abuse cases
· Gender-neutral laws (men and women both can be offenders)
· Creating awareness about domestic violence from the school level (inclusive of boys and girls)
· Introducing a subject on finance and law to understand the basics at the school secondary level (since most women are not involved in these at home they tend to suffer not knowing even the basics)
· Along with the registration of marriages, handing booklet of domestic violence laws to the couple
· Acknowledging the role of Homemakers in GDP growth. Some percentage of the earning member’s salary can be kept in an escrow account or GOI can collect as a cess tax (deducted from salary), and grant an adequate amount as maintenance, as prescribed by the supreme court, so the long-drawn-out fight lessens the burden on courts as well as resulting in giving dignity of women in society for being homemaker.
· After the amendment of laws, a review should be done to see the impact. Ever since the decriminalisation of adultery, chaos has erupted in the fabric of society. As though it’s a license to become immoral and corrupt leading to more divorces and collateral damage to families and children.
Divorces affect the GDP of the country too.
Please find a recent researched base report on the reasons for domestic violence as conducted by a couple of research scholars in Tripura focusing on their state. This research on reasons for domestic violence must be done countrywide to assess the situation of women in their own homes, reasons, challenges and what needs to be done for half of the population.
With All respect
Archana Mittal
Views are personal. The author, Archana Mittal volunteers with Mission Anganwadi,(CSO), an initiative for restructuring and strengthening Anganwadis. She also works for Vriddhachi Anganwadi at Pune, creating an ecosystem for elders ( 60-95yrs) within the community to age gracefully. She further supports women in challenging situations by creating short videos spreading awareness about women’s rights. As a certified therapist, she also provides counselling to women undergoing trauma and abuse in their own homes.
